Have you ever had an awkward conversation with someone you were dating? I mean like really awkward. Stick with me a minute, I mean so so incredibly awkward, it was almost as if you shit your pants?
Well, I did. That conversation was pointless, because I actually shit my pants. And not just, a "oops I shit my pants" moment. But a literal crisis.
I will start from the beginning, as I have to with this blog because I think details are important. It was the year 2011, well actually 2012 and I went on a mission trip to El Salvador. Typical mission trip things, building schools, working in the orphanage and immersing ourselves fully into the culture. I took that a little too literally, again details. I decided it would be a good idea to really really (I mean really) fully immerse myself in the culture. I tried sugar cane with the kids at one of the volunteer sites. It was delicious.
Approximately three weeks later, back at school after a 6 week long winter break. I was settling into a new apartment and trying to figure out how to juggle a new relationship, school, job and activities. Not before long, I realized I was getting in over my head and I was stressed out.
The guy I was dating at the time, let's call him, Bart, started to become concerned with my stress as he noticed I was rapidly losing weight. One night, we had a conversation that went along these lines....
Bart- "Hey Maddy. I have a question for you, but you promise you won't be mad about it?"
In my head I was thinking, of course I am about to be mad, what are you trying to ask me....and as a whirlwind of what-the-hell's formed in my brain, I heard...
Bart-"Have you been eating?"
Now, I realize this is a serious topic for most but this is a blog post about shitting their pants so I apologize again for the informality and if it offends anyone, but I responded with,
Me-"Eating what? Food? Yes, of course I am."
To which the conversation quickly went south, inquiring that I looked like I had lost a lot of weight and that he was concerned about me. How nice of you Bart.
Long story, incredibly longer, it was a tapeworm. After several awkward conversations that should never happen in the first 6, no, first year of dating, I shit my pants in a Walmart. I could share the details about how I was told not to leave the house and how my roommates thought "Maddying" my pants was incredibly funny, however, I will just leave you with, if you want to kick start a relationship, shit your pants in a Walmart.
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